I have literally dug my own grave. I have lied to the very people who have given me everything...I hurt the people that love me most, yet, I did nothing wrong. I don't know where to start. I feel shattered and broken. Life is so much more...but everything is being snatched away from me for no reason at all.
I'm sorry for wanting things that went against your will. I'm sorry for lying. It's just that honesty is unacceptable because my sincere desires will always be wrong. So I have to lie.
You never seem to care whether you hurt me or not. As long as you can control me. I am growing up and discovering a new world...please let me explore. My plans are safe. My goals are pure. Don't fear that I will turn away from the One who has saved me. Because I won't. Trust me. That's all I ask. I have not given you any reason to distrust me...
I feel confined. I am stuck in a reality that I refuse to accept. I drift through life yearning to be awakened and left alone. I want to be who God made me. I want to do what He wants. Don't hold me back. Don't judge my mistakes, everyone makes them.
I lie to maintain my sanity. I lie to be happy. I lie to be accepted.
I'm sorry I'm not what you want. Or what you had in mind. Stop trying to change me please. I am who God made me and I will continue to grow in him, with him, and for him.
They say honesty is the best policy...but not in my case. Honesty has brought me all my troubles. I cannot be honest with you. You refuse to understand.
